How to negotiate with a terrorist, I mean toddler

When I started writing this I wanted it to be like a true terrorist negotiation checklist, so to the Internet I went. Typed in How to negotiate with a terrorist, but as I looked at my results I became too paranoid to click any choices for fear of the secret service breaking through my windows on little zip line thingys. So I changed the search to how to negotiate with terrorists or toddlers to throw the feds off my trail. I could feel the security threat level drop as I typed.

With no real luck I decided to Share my own strategies that are a result of my oldest just turning tyrannical three.

1. Bribery
There is nothing to feel ashamed about when using acts of bribery. It's really a win-win
Situation. The parent ends up looking like the good guy with lots of yummy lollipops,
while getting the child to leave the park without incidence.

2. Trickery
This is a variation of #1 when you need to get the child to leave the park without incidence,
but don't actually have said lollipop.

3. Fear and Scarcity
Also a variation of #1 when trying to get the child to leave the park without incidence for
for fear of lollipop supply disappearing.

4. Bargaining
Still a variation on #1, but a little different...no wait this is exactly #1.

5. Threatening
A variation of #1, but the words "time out" play a big role.


***note: Counting from 1 to 2 3/4 can be used in conjunction with any of these steps